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The Cancer Diaries
POSTED BY ANDY MALUCHE, JULY-AUGUST 2005 | PROSE

Dr. Evil  

Many of you have read the story of the untimely demise of a very sensitive body part of mine (Time to drop the Ball).
Unfortunately, the story doesn't end there. Even after my operation, I wasn't feeling as well as I should have. I lost about 15 pounds and only about half of that can be attributed to my missing jewel.
The biopsy report came back wrapped in a big hushed "C".
Yes my friends, like in cancer with a capital C. So I decided to join the latest craze and create my own: "Cancer Diaries" I will write about my personal experience with the only thing that scares people more than George Bush' propaganda.

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The Cross We Have To Bear
POSTED BY ANDY MALUCHE, MARCH 28, 2005 | PROSE, PHOTOGRAPHY

Easter in the Philippines  

"Crucifixion?" I asked
"First to the right and then second to the left" the friendly security guard advised us.
My mom and I screamed with laughter as we drove off leaving a dazzled guard behind who probably never saw Monty Python's "Life of Brian" and therefore didn't get our little private joke.
"One cross each, he he he."

It is Easter and we are on our way to San Pedro, Pampanga, Philippines to witness real crucifixions.
According to the papers there will be no less than 14 people nailed to crosses this year.

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Lubo and a Loop
POSTED BY ANDY MALUCHE, NOVEMBER 2, 2004 | PROSE, PHOTOGRAPHY

Rice Terraces  

I am sitting on the roof of a fully loaded Jeepney which is a locally manufactured transportation device, loosely based on actual jeeps which the Americans brought over to the Philippines during the war.
They are built for about 16 passengers including the driver.

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One kid on a stick and you've seen them all
…or, just wait they will be here soon

POSTED BY ANDY MALUCHE, AUGUST 1, 2004 | PROSE, PHOTOGRAPHY

Chengchau  

My buddy Mr. Jones Jr., his wife Eva and I were hanging out in a tiny cafe along a small lane in a totally unfashionable part of Cheung Chau Island, Hong Kong. It was about 2 pm, sizzling hot and we were sitting there since two hours. Mr. Jones Jr. and I were totally hammered.

I couldn't figure out if I was sweating so much because I was drinking too much or if I was drinking so much because I sweat so much. I have to check the next time what comes first.

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Venus and I
POSTED BY ANDY MALUCHE, JUNE 3, 2004 | PROSE, ART

Feet Scenery  

A bunch of birds are sitting in a tree waiting for bugs to pass by. One jumps up, swoops down, picks up an insect, settles back on it's favoured branch and waits for the next unsuspecting, careless bug.
A cool breeze blows from a westerly direction keeping my beer and me fresh. I am sitting on my balcony on Lamma Island watching those birds doing their bird things.

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The Giant Sizzling Sisig and an Al-Qaeda Chicken Attack
POSTED BY ANDY MALUCHE, MAY 25, 2003 | PROSE, PHOTOGRAPHY

Sisig  

All the former GI's, British veterans, pensioners and just plain drop-outs fell silent as the two beautifully dressed, Arabian looking girls walked in and ceremoniously covered the billiard table with a colorful, flowery plastic sheet.
There was a short pause where nothing happened but not long enough to give any of the guys in the bar a chance to react in some way. The doors opened again and two beautiful belly dancers glided into the bar, their hips swaying seductively. They covered the floor with colorful petals all the way from the entrance to the billiard table. Suddenly the door banged open and a tall man of apparently Middle Eastern persuasion, stormed into the bar.

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The Wooly Farting Swan
or the True Origin of the Burning Man

POSTED BY ANDY MALUCHE, JANUARY 5, 2003 | PROSE, ART

Wooly Farting Swan  

The woolly, farting Swan, a 10 foot giant, was a common sight in a dense coconut forest in prehistoric Philippines.
For some unexplained reason it suddenly disappeared about 10,000 years ago. Some blame the disappearance to a meteor impact, others cite a malignant virus which depleted the coconut forests, the woolly, farting Swan's exclusive food source. Still others blame the arrival of people.

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Tree Huggin' in California
POSTED BY ANDY MALUCHE,NOVEMBER 13, 2002 | PROSE, PHOTOGRAPHY

Redwoods  

I really screwed up with the pictures in this story.
I started with a small selection of underexposed slides.
Then they are scanned in low resolution and the jpg compression hammered in the final nail to the coffin.
See the pictures as visual aids and not as beautiful things themselves.

Gordon and I will go back and I will make great pictures.

Normal people would probably consider it strange to drive a whole day just to look at some trees.

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Banahaw - Mountain of Mystery
POSTED BY ANDY MALUCHE, NOVEMBER 8, 2002 | PROSE, PHOTOGRAPHY

Banahaw  

A spoon and a bloody fork you moron!
It is not as if I forgot something when I go camping,
it is what I have forgotten.
Three days of planning and preparing and I forget something as essential as utensils!
They don't call them utensils for nothing.
You're suppose to utilize them and not leave them at home.

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