My therapist suggested I should dig deep into my childhood to find the source for all that built-up hostility.
I dug and dug but apparently I had a pretty cool childhood.
Then it hit me like a jolt of lightning.
I suddenly remembered.
All these years I was able to stash it away in the deepest and least favored crevices of my brain.

There was that doll.
I can't recall where it came from.
It was just there one day and wouldn't leave.
Everywhere I would go it would already be there, waiting and staring at me with those cold eyes.
Relentlessly it would scream at me:
"I will eat your penis, I will eat your penis"
And you are asking me
why I have trouble communicating with women?
After telling my therapist about it,
he suggested it might even have something to do with my excessive masturbation habits.
Although we are still arguing what constitutes "excessive masturbation," our opinions seem to differ by a wide margin

Now I am hoping that by conceptualizing that doll into art,
I will be able to mentally digest the pain.
And everybody will have a chance to suffer a little with me.