I had a medical condition. It was quite bothersome and it has been severely restricting my style for the last six months. It was also slightly embarrassing and I didn't want to talk much about it.
Yes, of course I went to the doctor and actually not only to one. I went to see six different practitioners of the Hippocratic oath. I even had doctors from Germany and Hong Kong helping me out via email. They all had something in common - namely a totally different idea about how one should approach my problem. I was lucky. I wasn't restricted by just one simple solution. I had the fortunate opportunity to be able to choose from 8 different suggested therapies. A few common threats would have been helpful but those doctors are way too clever for that. One particular solution kind of popped up a couple of times but that would have been a very drastic and final approach. That option I wanted to reserve for the last possible reconsideration. It would have involved the loss of a body part of mine to which I have strong sentimental attachment. Come to think of it, I have strong sentimental attachments to all my body parts.
I did my own research on the internet as well and I had literally hundreds of tests performed on me, in me and with all kinds of bodily fluids of me. Nothing pointed to one clear problem let alone a solution. The only somehow valuable information I could crystallize out of that soup of information was that going on antibiotics might possible help. I have to mention that I went on antibiotics at the very beginning of my inconvenience without any positive results. Actually in fairness I have to say that several of the doctors did suggested to go on antibiotics. Not the same kind of course and if two actually agreed on something similar then naturally in radically varying dosages. As my problem grew, literally, I chose one antibiotic with a funny name and started to take it as directed by the manufacturer.
Generally my condition was not very painful. Occasionally I would get attacks that left me with severe cramps and pain in my large intestine and lower back that would last about for four days. Only after the third of this kind of attack did I figure out what possibly triggered them. Now I know you will laugh when I tell you but I swear it's true - masturbation, medical masturbation of course.
You don't have to be a doctor to come up with a easy solution for that kind of problem. Just don't do it. And yes even I figured that out and I stopped. That is, until I decided that it might be possibly a genuine medical necessity for me to do it.
But before I get into that let me tell you what my condition was all about.
At this point you have a choice. You can read about the moment of Zen on how I was outed in the setting of a peculiar Chinese doctor. It's a story by itself.
or if you are pressed for time or sick and tired of my stories you can skip that and go straight to the revelation and conclusion.
If you have the time I suggest that you read everything.
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